Your Ego Getting Triggered Is the Signal
On having fun by yourself, the path of least resistance, patience in relationships, and what happens when someone points out a pattern you'd rather not hear.
Facing Fears
Having fun… by yourself.
Not watching something, not filling the space with people. Actually making yourself laugh. Doing something silly. Going on an adventure alone.
Most of us only know how to have fun when there’s someone to bounce off. When there’s no one around, we don’t really know what to do with ourselves.
There’s a level of interdependence that needs to be met within you first.
You already know what makes you giggle. So just do it. Walk around town and pull a fake accent on everyone you talk to. Make funny faces at strangers. Whatever works for you… just enjoy your own company.
The Habit
Coming off two weeks of injury, I gave myself full permission to let loose.
Pizza. Bread. Fried chicken. Movies back to back. Not reading, not learning, not doing much of anything.
Probably needed. But as I started getting better, I noticed I couldn’t just switch back. The habits that came in during the recovery didn’t leave when the injury did.
All that dopamine stacking up while I let myself loose… now that I’m pulling it back, I just feel flustered and mopey.
That’s the path of least resistance. Even after years of building discipline. Give it a crack and it opens right back up. Just to show that it’s so important to continuously build that neurological pathway in your head by making deliberate choices that are coming with your best discernment.
Pay It Forward
As you grow, your standards go up. And at some point you look around and realize… not many people are meeting them.
It’s easy to just cut those people off. They’re not like you. They don’t operate the way you do.
But there’s something really isolating about that too.
The most important thing in any relationship is patience. And just… care.
We’re all puzzle pieces. The part of you that’s not so strong is probably someone else’s strongest suit. The parts that clash can work out if you communicate and give it time.
Giving up on someone too easily is an excuse. There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship.
From the Week
I had a conversation with a friend this week that brought up some bitterness I wasn’t expecting.
They were pointing out patterns in my behavior… things I should be aware of, things to do differently. And I felt my ego get on defense immediately.
I’ve done a lot of work on myself. I hold myself to high standards in how I show up. So when someone says there’s still more to look at… something in me just wants to shut that down.
My ego was trying to pin me as better than everyone else. Just to avoid hearing what my friend was actually saying.
And here’s the thing, I love learning. I love adapting and getting better. So that ego reaction doesn’t actually match who I think I am… which is exactly why it’s worth paying attention to.
The way it was delivered mattered. That’s real. But the bigger thing is: other people are the only real mirrors I have. Close friends see patterns I genuinely can’t see in myself.
When my ego gets triggered like that… that’s the signal. Not proof that I don’t need to hear it. Proof that I probably do.
Sam Gute Rogers
Mental Fitness Specialist