The Conversation You Know You Need to Have
On uncomfortable conversations, equanimity, and what a blood test actually showed about three years of eating and training in Vietnam.
Facing Fears
The conversation you know you need to have… the one with the person you can’t avoid.
The energy of thinking about them in resentment, running the story over and over in your head… it kills your ability to think clearly.
Here’s a simple game. Invite them in and say: “Hey, I’d like to play a game with you.”
Ask them: “Tell me something you think I should know.”
You keep quiet while they say whatever they need to say. Then you swap… you explain yourself and they don’t say anything. Back and forth until you both feel complete.
Just a way to actually hear each other’s stories and clear things up.
The Habit
I was sitting at a blood test clinic this week, looking over my paperwork, when I start hearing a child nearby yelling and crying.
He’s scared. Makes sense… needle, blood, probably his first time.
The guy next to me starts getting visibly irritated. The child isn’t stopping. I hear him mutter under his breath: “gosh, when is he gonna stop…”
In my head I’m thinking… this child is quite uncomfortable. He probably doesn’t understand what’s going on. That’s not his fault.
Something Vietnam has taught me is that everything truly does pass. So will this.
What I was practicing in that moment is called equanimity… the state of not letting things outside of you pull you away (avoid) or pull you in (crave). Maintaining an equal balance so something as small as a crying child doesn’t ruin your day.
The guy next to me let it ruin his.
Pay It Forward
Sometimes being a straight shooter is the most caring thing you can do for someone.
Especially if they keep bringing up the same situation, the same person, the same problem… and you keep seeing the same thing show up every single time.
If you’ve got enough rapport built… just say it.
“Hey, can I be really honest with you? I don’t mean to attack you, but I think you really need to hear this.”
Then tell them. Specifically. Not in a general way… in a way that’s actually going to help.
From the Week
1. The conflict and the guitar
A friend got triggered by something I did and a little heat started to bubble between us. About something pretty stupid, honestly. Just a misunderstanding of how people think and expecting them to act the same as I do.
What came up for me was this unsettled feeling in my stomach. My lower body getting tight. My back getting tight.
I just really don’t like conflict.
It triggers old wounds about making sure everyone likes me. That’s been hard to face for most of my life. But I’ve taken big steps… I’ve had difficult conversations I didn’t want to have. Even one with my stepmom once, because of the way she was acting toward my dad and I had to say something.
When the other person isn’t taking it well… the thing I always come back to is: it’s not really about me. It’s just the way they approach their own trigger. I can’t be responsible for the way they feel or think about the situation.
So I looked after myself. Breathed into my body.
Then I picked up the guitar.
The moment I started playing, my body got goosebumps. State changed immediately. Out of the emotionally wounded place and into something more rational and peaceful.
2. The decision
Ever since I made the decision to leave Da Nang… things have started getting better here.
More people wanting to be around me. Deeper connections forming. More people wanting to work with me. Just enjoying life more.
It might look like the universe is testing me. But it isn’t.
I’ve set myself on abundance. I’ve claimed what I know I deserve and what I’m meant to have… and stopped being limited by that.
The decision itself is the exact catalyst.
3. The blood test
I’ve been talking to a lot of people in health and wellness lately… people into carnivore, people into vegan. Everyone has a strong opinion.
I wanted to settle it for myself with no bullshit. So I got a blood test.
My lifestyle: eggs and animal proteins in the morning (steak, salmon, chicken), rice cooked in chicken drippings from the air fryer, kefir, homemade chocolate made from just honey, coconut oil, and cacao, kimchi, avocado here and there, no veggies. Training every day… HIIT, yoga, animal movement, calisthenics, rope flow in the mornings. Sleep by 10, up naturally around 6, no alarm.
I ran the results through AI to get an honest read.
“One of the most cleanest, balanced panels you can realistically achieve.”
Optimized for fat burning, stable energy, low inflammation, cardiovascular protection.
The data doesn’t lie.
Sam Gute Rogers
Mental Fitness Specialist